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Sarcastic escaped executive. Best-selling author. Writes whatever she wants.

RELATIONSHIPS

I would rather flick a hungry lion’s balls wearing a pair of pork chop panties before I would ever get back with you

Image by f-fiedler from Pixabay

“I may be many things,
and there are even more that I am not,
but I would never do to you what you did to me,
and I think that says a lot.” — RIB

I had the unfortunate luck to have a picnic lunch with a depressed friend when the cause of her depression saw us eating. Kathy was getting divorced after a thirty-plus-year marriage. She found her husband not only had multiple affairs but purchased a house for one of the women while keeping her and their two kids in an apartment. …


Life Lessons

BIPOC? What should White people call non-White people?

Image Source: DepositPhotos

“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.” — Audre Lorde

Over the last week, I had several inquiries from my White friends about what I consider myself to be. Do I want to be called Black, African American, a POC, or a BIPOC? Inquiring minds want to know.

What is the problem?

POC is People of Color. BIPOC is Black and Indigenous People of Color. Last year the YWCA replaced all its POC wording with BIPOC wording. Per the YWCA website, “BIPOC stands for Black, Indigenous, and people of color. Pronounced “bye-pock,”…


Parenting

I have followed his wise advice.

Image by Nino Carè from Pixabay

My grandfather always said that living is like licking honey off a thorn.
– Louis Adamic

My Grandfather Marlo was a professional grifter. A sharp-dressed handsome man, he made his living cheating people. He talked fast but with an educated Southern lilt — people who judged his book by its cover got cheated. My mother would say Grandpa could sell matches in hell.

Going to the Park?

After he and my Grandmother divorced, Grandfather became a nomad, traveling the United States, never settling down. When I was a child, he’d live with my mother and father off and on when he was in town…


Relationships

I’ll make my reality match his for a job well done

Photo by Uriel Mont from Pexels

“Sexual energy is just that, it’s energy. And where we choose to expend that energy makes all the difference in the world.”–Joy McMillan, XES: Why Church Girls Tend To Get It Backwards… And How To Get It Right

After a long eight-hour drive, we are in a hotel room when my husband turns to me and gives me that smile. Oh, no. It’s the old “come hither” posture and gesture.

Three things:

1. Since before dawn, we have been up to get to the hotel early; we will meet friends we haven’t seen in a long time this afternoon.

2. I slept…


Life Lessons

Everyone has a few COVID pounds, well maybe more than a few

Image by Eveline de Bruin from Pixabay

“Some people are born to fatness, others have to get there.” Les Murray

As we venture out into the world post the lockdown, I note some people have forgotten their manners. Most of us spent the lockdown learning new skills (like cooking). Then cooking lots of new dishes which we then ate so many of us are a bit rounder.

“Wow, you’ve gained weight” is not a suitable greeting in polite society. Greetings that are acceptable in America not limited to the list below remain:

1. Hello.

2. Hi.

3. How are you?

4. Welcome.

5. How have you been?


Sex

That time they almost arrested me for going to a motel with my husband

Photo by Kamaji Ogino from Pexels

“Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time.” — Chris Rock

We lived in a small apartment with our 3- and 9-year-old children and a dog. My teenaged sister and my mother were staying with us temporarily.

No Romance

We were so busy taking care of everyone that it took six weeks before recognizing we were not making love. Our bedroom was the hub of the household. Our master bedroom was like the Atlanta Airport, and people were constantly passing through; it was like living on the downtown exit of a freeway. At any…


Sex

When we kiss, we exchange 80 million bacteria with our partner

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk from Pexels

“Hollywood is a place where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. I know because I turned down the first offer often enough and held out for the fifty cents.”
Marilyn Monroe

Notions of Sexuality

As I have gotten older, I have begun to examine my notions of sexuality. As I have fallen down the rabbit hole of me and my spouse’s behavior as we get older, I keep finding out fascinating facts. One of those is that romantic kissing is not a universal human behavior in all human cultures. …


Writing

‘Thank You’ from all the newbies you’ve helped

Image by vikaskhare1 from Pixabay

“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”
Buddha

When I started on Medium, I made $2.37 in the first six months, including three months with zero earnings. Then I began binging stories by the former librarian and Medium Sherpa, Roz Warren. The following month, I made $19.20 and have decent earnings since then. But never, ever a zero again.

Roz is not writing self-help do-better articles just for me. Anyone can read them. …

Toni Crowe

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