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Sarcastic escaped executive. Best-selling author. Writes whatever she wants.


You already stole one husband; I’d like to keep mine

Photo by EVG Culture from Pexels

“A third party in your marriage will do three things to you:
Seduce your spouse, wreck your home and take your place.”
Michael Bassey Johnson, The Infinity Sign

Childhood Friends

Although you know exactly who your adult friends have become, the nature of old friendships is that you still love them. Those we grew up with, especially if you grew up in the projects, can be untrustworthy people. They are not allowed to do you wrong. Both you and them guard against losing a friendship that existed long before you became adults.

One of my friends, *Carol, was beautiful as a…


We were like kids in a candy store

Photo by Afonso Lima from FreeImages

“We men are very simple people: if we like what we see, we’re coming over there. If we don’t want anything from you, we’re not coming over there. Period. Please highlight this part right here so you can always remind yourself the next time a man steps to you: a man always wants something. Always. And when it comes to women, that plan is always to find out two things: (1) if you’re willing to sleep with him, and (2) if you are, how much it will cost to get you to sleep with him.” …


Who knew cats were so sensitive about their looks?

Image Source: Ranger by Toni Crowe

“True friends stab you in the front” — Oscar Wilde

The Pets at Home

My family always has pets. We have them in pairs, at least two, sometimes more. Why two at a time? The pets keep each other company when they are alone — everyone in our household went to work or school at least five days a week.

One set of pets was our twenty-two lb. Maine Coon, Ranger, and our sixteen lb. Shi Tzu, Reno. Ranger was my husband’s cat; Reno was my dog. We often teased each other about our pets’ sizes.

Ranger was a big cat — after all…


Leaders must vigorously execute actions they do not support

Image by Jerzy Górecki from Pixabay

“The only men ruthless enough to fight against tyranny were themselves inclined to it.”
Susan Wise Bauer, The History of the Ancient World: From the Earliest Accounts to the Fall of Rome

Communication is Key

In my long corporate career, I have perfectly executed policies with which I disagreed. This is a brutal truth of upper management. The guidelines were not immoral, unethical, or illegal, so they were a part of my job to implement. Early on, I learned hard lessons around communication, up and down the chain, so I was not entangled in unnecessary politics later in my career.

The correct…


What goes around always comes back around

Photo by Santiago Antunez from Pexels

“Dear Karma, I really hate you right now, you made your point.” — Ottilie Weber

Sometimes when I’m sitting quietly and thinking, I listen to the palm trees blowing in the wind. The circle of life strikes me. My last grandchild went to first grade this year. I reflect on my kid’s first days of all-day school — pondering how I raised my children and wondering if I could have done better. I did the best I could, considering they were just like me.

Just Like My Mom

My mom suffered through my teenaged years because I was like her. I knew I was…


Come on over and let’s write a story about it

Image Source: Depositphotos / Licensed to the Author

“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.” — Erma Bombeck

Humor Helped

Years ago, I loved to read Erma Bombeck. I was a working mother with two children. My spouse and I were both ambitious. He wanted to become the Chief Technology Officer in a company while I aimed to be the Chief Operations Officer. We were juggling a two-career household with talented parents and bright children. Everyone headed somewhere.

My husband helped with the kids as sometimes my job demanded I travel out of the country. My…


I need to up my sexy game

Photo by Roberto Hund from Pexels

“I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front, they say, ‘I would do anything for love.’ On the back, they say, ‘But I won’t do that.’ — Someecards

Dime Store Underwear

When I was a teenager, my mom did not provide me with matched sets of underwear. Instead, I got packages of underwear popular at the dime stores, small neighborhood variety shops-think individually owned dollar stores- down the street. Every one of my bras was a white cotton thing with pointy circles for cups. It was stiff and scratchy, not sexy in any way, shape, or form. …


I’m Not Leaving

Background Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

“If you are going through hell, keep going.”Winston Churchill

The Story

Another simple truth about university life is that if you find a way to bend the rules without breaking them, you will be applauded.

The university computer lab had two simple rules:

1. As long as there was one student in the lab, it was available for use.

2. As long as you were sitting at a computer, it was yours. Once you left the seat, another student took it. There was no getting up and going to the bathroom or stretching.

I was not the fastest programmer in my…


Tired Poem

Photo by Stephen_UK of Pixabay

How can I forget to take the same medication?
I have been taking every day for twenty years
I forget because I have been taking it for twenty years
Human nature
I want to stop
I repeated this so many times
Swallowing-water, swallowing-water, swallowing-water
There must be a limit
Or do these horse-size pills go on into infinity
Will I need to take these pills in heaven?
Because that would be hell for me

Toni Crowe retired as the Vice President of Operations to pursue her dream of being a writer. Toni has written six books, two of…

Toni Crowe

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