I don’t want to be a naysayer here but I think your wife did the right thing. I have a comment but no advice. I came up hard and had at least one sibling that was ADHD. As much as I hate to say this, he learned how to control himself because my mom simply could not accept his really wild behavior as we could not afford “standard treatments.”

When he got super out of control, she applied the only tool she had, the back of her hand, or shoe, or belt. He is an ADHD adult professional with a 15 year marriage, great job and decent children. Good luck to you.