Life Is Too Short

I Would Rather Drink Aged Alligator Piss on The Rocks With Lemon And A Twisty Straw Before I Work In Corporate America 9–5 Again

That bridge is burned — I am no longer a good fit

Toni Crowe
4 min readJan 19


Jon Anders Wiken — / Author’s subscription

“Only courageous hearts can endure the bitterness of truth.”
Michael Bassey Johnson, The Book of Maxims, Poems and Anecdotes

I consider myself a lucky woman. I came up hard, but through luck, skill, serendipity, and a little help from my friends, I escaped the poverty of Chicago’s South Side. My entire family is with me. We are doing much better than any of us could have expected.

My mom was a functional alcoholic, but she believed in education. Whoever came home with less than all A’s was in for an ass whipping, whether she was drinking or not.

Anybody doing anything with gangs, stealing, or anything else illegal would be seriously embarrassed, as Ma would hunt down our skanky friends. She informed our friends that she would whip everybody’s ass if her children continued in illegal activities. After that, we were poison. No one wanted Ma searching for them because of our involvement in one of their schemes. My father was a Chicago cop who might also look for them.

As the oldest, once my wild days were over, I more than met the requirements. I understood the assignment. I returned to college, acquired multiple degrees, and traveled the world. I became my family’s example for my brothers and sister of what education could do to improve your life. I often invited my family to my home and took them on trips. They learned by example to capture their own lighting in a bottle. As a result, everyone is doing well in 2023.

One reason I stayed in corporate America as long as I did was I felt I was making a difference. I retired in the middle of the year before COVID because I felt I was no longer what was needed in the corporate world. Although I was second in command of my division, the type of processes the corporation was preparing to institute were not my cup of tea.

When I left, they were as happy as I was for the lone asker of hard questions to leave. If no one points out the skunk in the punch bowl, no problem. Just drink…



Toni Crowe

Willing to share whatever I've learned in life. Best-selling author. Writes whatever she wants. Owner: No Air. Editor, MuddyUm.