Modern Love

If You Are Looking For The D, Put On Your Best Dick Hunting Clothes And Go Hunting

You’re going to need bait

Toni Crowe
4 min readMay 31


Image source: Depositphotos / Author’s subscription

Once again, I had to regale some young women with stories of my wild youth to help them on their way. They were having a pre-bachelorette party outing. The bride and the one-married bridesmaid were not invited. This was basically a dick-hunting expedition for single women.

The women told me about the lack of interest exhibited by the men around them at the nightclub they visited. None of them went home with anyone. Their excursion was an abject failure. These are beautiful, vibrant women any man in the club should want to hit, so what was the problem?

These young women are very used to the online dating experience where you swipe right or left based on the image and the profile posted on the site. Then you mutually agree to meet and take it from there. A spontaneous “let us go and get ourselves some lurid sex the night before the bachelorette party” calls for a different strategy.

I asked if they had a bait girl at the club. They reported that they did not even know what a bait girl was. Having both been the bait girl and the recipient of bait girl generosity, I had to explain.

Young men are simple creatures. They have two heads, one on top and one on the bottom. When you are out and about looking for a quick Tinder-type encounter, you must appeal to the bottom head. One girl in the group must show off all the attractants. This does not need to be the most striking girl — in fact, don’t use her.

Instead, use the one who appears to be the most fuckable member of the group. Sensuality is the key to everyone getting what they want that night. All the women in the group will have a fulfilling experience even if none of them gets picked up for a night of pleasure.

This girl needs to be dressed in something that screams, “Come and get me.” We want the tits perky for the tit men, a long slit or very short dress length for the leg men, and a tightly fitting backside for the butt men. She is to act as if she is one drink from making a bad decision.

Men will flock to the area for their chance for an easy pickup. In real life, the…



Toni Crowe

Willing to share whatever I've learned in life. Best-selling author. Writes whatever she wants. Owner: No Air. Editor, MuddyUm.