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If only my younger self could have heard the older me

If You Marry Me, It’s A Life Sentence

Just so you know

Toni Crowe
4 min readMar 21, 2023

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Jacob Lund — stock.adobe.com / Author’s subscription

A friend of mine invited me to her daughter’s bachelorette party. We met at a pleasant restaurant for dinner. We then retired to a suite in a luxury hotel for all the kinds of things that you would expect at a bachelorette party.

There were penises everywhere. There was penis cake, penis cupcakes, penis candy, penis hats, and we even had penis bubble makers. I believe the imagery was to help remind us of the true meaning of marriage — lurid sex in every room in the house.

Of course, we invited “the police” to attend the party. They were the most courteous, well-built policemen you had ever seen. After they stripped, they gave some of us a spanking for being bad girls.

One game we played was “What do you wish you said to your husband the night that he proposed?” Since we had all been drinking a lot, the answers exposed a lot of Freudian slips. Slips were hanging out everywhere on full display. Alcohol can reveal the inner workings of a person’s true self.

One woman said, “If you marry me, it is a life sentence. Just so you know.” That’s what she would have told her husband, her now divorced husband, if she had been thinking. Instead, all…

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Toni Crowe
Toni Crowe

Written by Toni Crowe

Sharing the hard lessons I've learned in life. Best-selling author. Humorist. Editor. Writing whatever interests me . Owner: No Air. Editor:MuddyUm.

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