Older Life

It’s Summer, Y’all -Time to Update My ‘No, I Won’t Be Doing That’ List

People over 50 need to be reminded they are not 30 anymore

Toni Crowe
3 min readJul 14, 2022

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It is again summer when I need to be reminded of my age. I am headed out on vacation later this month. Sometimes I have so much fun that I forget that the things I liked and dared to do in my thirties are not suitable for me in my sixties. I have a list.

1. I will not be flashing my tits to anyone. I have turned the flashers on these breasts off. They will not be turned on again.

2. I will not be hang-gliding. When we saw a guy fly into the only tree near the landing area, I knew my hang-gliding days were over. These old bones would be broken into pieces. As it was, the man hopped up like nothing was wrong to wait for the EMTs.

3. I will not be eating off a street cart in the middle of a hot summer day in an unknown city. There was a time when I could eat anything. Those days are gone. I do not need to make a reacquaintance with Ralph.

4. I will not wander 5 miles down the beach, mainly because if I walk down there, I will need to walk back. It is embarrassing to call the beach patrol.

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Toni Crowe

Sharing the hard lessons I've learned in life. Best-selling author. Humorist. Editor. Writing whatever interests me . Owner: No Air. Editor:MuddyUm.