What Is This?

Yesterday Was National Lingerie Day, And I Didn’t Get Any Lingerie

What the hell is going on here?

Toni Crowe
7 min readApr 26, 2023

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Image source: AdobeStock_416947310 / Author’s subscription

Yesterday was National Lingerie Day, and for the first time in a long time, I did not get lingerie on the National Day celebrating panties.

I Need A Check-Up

My spouse is a lusty man. He wants to provide himself with every opportunity for sexual interactions whenever possible. Lingerie should have shown up at my house. It did not.

I waited all day yesterday for a beautiful box with a few sets of sexy matching panties and bras. His negligence in producing lingerie has given me pause. I got up this morning and gave myself a mirror self-examination.

I am no longer the young spring chicken I was before, but I am not a stewpot hen either. I made an honest evaluation of what I have right now. I looked at my lady lumps and humps to see what was up.

Breasts

I consider myself lucky and unlucky to have dense breasts. Unlucky because every year, when I go for a mammogram, I must take two breast examinations. One test is the routine mammogram, one every year since I was 23. Since I have dense breast tissue, the doctors cannot read the topography of my breasts. This leads to a…

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Toni Crowe

Sharing the hard lessons I've learned in life. Best-selling author. Humorist. Editor. Writing whatever interests me . Owner: No Air. Editor:MuddyUm.